He's Not A Real Christian

I was born an evangelical

My family worships god

So this the last election,

Well I found it pretty odd

That so-called evangelicals

Gave whole-hearted support

To a man who acts so much more like

The devil than the lord

So I feel there’s something I must say

to evangelicals

About the guy they voted for

Come on guys, what the hell?

He’s not a real Christian

He’s not a real Christian

He’s not a real C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N

You were born yesterday

If you think he’s born again

He’s not Christian.

Never a Christian

Ya’ best wise up and wise up quick

He’s not a real Christian

He’s just a dick

I’ve listened to his speeches

They’re really all quite witless

No respect for God’s command

thou shalt not bear false witness

He stirs up hatred daily

and he whines like a boss

Clearly acting like HE was the

one up on the cross

No other gods before God?

Well, it could not be clearer

The only god he ever worships

He sees in the mirror.

He’s not a real Christian

He’s not a real Christian

He thinks enough arrogance and greed’ll

Get his camel through the eye of a needle

Not Christian

Such a fake Christian

He’s selfish immature, his soul is sick

He’s not a real Christian

He’s just a dick

Bridge

He’s full of hate and vengeful

Jesus said turn the other cheek

He’s a freakin’ ego maniac

Blessed are the meek

He can’t get enough of torture

Jesus preached empathy

He’s trying to close our borders

Jesus was a refugee

Don’t you see?

He’s not a real Christian

He’s not a real Christian

His racist xenophobic Muslim ban

Our Lord and Savior would not be a fan

Not Christian

He’s such a fake Christian

His outlook’s positively Satan-ic

He’s not a real Christian,

He’s just a dick.

So come on evangelicals

Don’t tell me this liar

Is really who you’ve gone and picked

To be your new messiah

Or is this bogus holy talk

All just a clever ruse

To give your inner racist self

A biblical excuse?

If that’s the case, then I’m afraid

I’ve got one more refrain

And it goes out to you until you grow yourself a brain

You’re not a Christian

You’re not a Christian

Jesus said “Give unto Ceasar”

Not grab married women by the beaver

Fake Christian

Don’t be a fake Christian

Jump the heck off of his sinking ship

C’mon become real Christian

Don’t be a dick.

Inauguration Song

He’s gonna make America great again

He’s gonna do nothing but win, win, win

He’s drain the swamp and bring coal jobs back

He’s gonna end all future terrorist attacks

He’s gonna teach us the meaning of freedom.

Oh.

And he likes to get peed on.

2

He’s unpresidented, there’s no disputin’

He’s ain’t no puppet of old Vlad Putin

He’ll bring to the office his logic and reason

He’ll lead us all without a hint of treason

Forget majority rule, let’s just speed on

Oh,

And he likes to get peed on...

Bridge

Oh the evangelicals love him so!

He’s friends with both Corinthians, you know!

They came and voted for him in reams

He must symbolize their Freudian dreams

He’s their new messiah, no dispute

What would Jesus do? With Russian prostitutes?

3

So bask in the warm stream of your vote

To put the USA into a leaky Russian boat

You can’t believe a word he’s ever said

But your in bed with him now, so try not to get wet

Wear your galoshes and just proceed on

would it really surprise you

If he also likes to eat poo?