Illegal Immigrants

Somebody stole my hat

It was a nice one at that

Custom made and signed

Truly one of a kind

So I found my rich friend

Who I go see now and again

And when the two of us met

My hat was on his head

I’d caught him red-handed

Lame hat-stealing bandit.

So I asked him “did he know

Who might’a stolen my chapeau?”

He thought of it a while

Then looked at me and smiled

He said “Oh, yes, your hat!

I do know all bout that…

‘

It. Was.

Illegal immigrants musta been

Illegal immigrants

Two thirds of the world’s riches

Are owned by them sumbitches

Illegal immigrants musta been

Illegal immigrants

Between them and ISIS

They caused the mortgage crisis

Illegal immigrants musta been

Illegal immigrants

Blame them and don’t blame me

I did not find his story

Quite Satisfactory

I mean, as previously said

My ding danged hat was on his head

I couldn’t understand

Why This corporate suck hat stand

hadn’t really even hid

After he’d purloined my lid

The crime it seemed so brazen

His lying pants emblazoned

It sucks when one you trust’s

Trousers spontan’ously combust

Didn’t seem to bother him

He just looked at me grim

Said he’d done all he can

Then muttered “migrant caravan”

Full of...

Illegal immigrants musta been

Illegal immigrants

They sneak in after dark and

Control the global markets

Illegal immigrants

Had to be illegal immigrants

The Panama papers 

Are full of them there capers

Illegal immigrants musta been

Illegal immigrants

Blame ‘em and don’t blame me!

I knew I couldn’t win

So I left the hat with him

Like all other things it went

Right on up to the one percent

Of potential repercussions

There would be no more discussion

He donned the hat of theft

And tipped it to me as he left

Then he threw it on a scrap heap

Built of tons of other caps he

Very clearly didn’t need

A hat-themed monument to greed

These aristocrats

They’ll always wind up with our hats

As long as we let these rich cats

Feed us this crap that’s total bats

Like how it’s always:

Illegal Immigrants

It’s always illegal immigrants

Them and that George Soros

They got it in for us

Illegal immigrants

Had to be Illegal immigrants

Ya’ know, they run the world

Look over there! Squirrel!

Illegal immigrants musta been

Illegal immigrants

Blame them for everything