Illegal Immigrants

Somebody stole my hat

It was a nice one at that

Custom made and signed

Truly one of a kind

So I found my rich friend

Who I go see now and again

And when the two of us met

My hat was on his head

I’d caught him red-handed

Lame hat-stealing bandit.

So I asked him “did he know

Who might’a stolen my chapeau?”

He thought of it a while

Then looked at me and smiled

He said “Oh, yes, your hat!

I do know all bout that…

‘

It. Was.

Illegal immigrants musta been

Illegal immigrants

Two thirds of the world’s riches

Are owned by them sumbitches

Illegal immigrants musta been

Illegal immigrants

Between them and ISIS

They caused the mortgage crisis

Illegal immigrants musta been

Illegal immigrants

Blame them and don’t blame me

I did not find his story

Quite Satisfactory

I mean, as previously said

My ding danged hat was on his head

I couldn’t understand

Why This corporate suck hat stand

hadn’t really even hid

After he’d purloined my lid

The crime it seemed so brazen

His lying pants emblazoned

It sucks when one you trust’s

Trousers spontan’ously combust

Didn’t seem to bother him

He just looked at me grim

Said he’d done all he can

Then muttered “migrant caravan”

Full of...

Illegal immigrants musta been

Illegal immigrants

They sneak in after dark and

Control the global markets

Illegal immigrants

Had to be illegal immigrants

The Panama papers 

Are full of them there capers

Illegal immigrants musta been

Illegal immigrants

Blame ‘em and don’t blame me!

I knew I couldn’t win

So I left the hat with him

Like all other things it went

Right on up to the one percent

Of potential repercussions

There would be no more discussion

He donned the hat of theft

And tipped it to me as he left

Then he threw it on a scrap heap

Built of tons of other caps he

Very clearly didn’t need

A hat-themed monument to greed

These aristocrats

They’ll always wind up with our hats

As long as we let these rich cats

Feed us this crap that’s total bats

Like how it’s always:

Illegal Immigrants

It’s always illegal immigrants

Them and that George Soros

They got it in for us

Illegal immigrants

Had to be Illegal immigrants

Ya’ know, they run the world

Look over there! Squirrel!

Illegal immigrants musta been

Illegal immigrants

Blame them for everything

Failure

Failure

by Winlar

1/6/2022

Failing is learning!

You should fail every day!

Fail fail fail

Every how, every way!

You have to fail to improve

Failing is no crime

Failing just means doing

Better the next time!

By all means fail!

Keep on failing ‘til you get it!

(Unless you’re over 50

Then, damn, it’s just pathetic…)

Losing is improving!

Losing means you learn!

Losing sparks a fire deep inside you

That will burn

Burn and make you better

Don’t let it get you rattled!

Losing means you tried!

Losing means you battled!

Never fear the losses

They’ll turn you into a bruiser!

(Unless you’re over 50

Then, yeah, you’re just a loser…)

Trying is everything!

Trying’s what you need!

Try try try!

You’ve got to to succeed!

You miss the shots you do not take

You lose the games not played!

So take the shot and win the game

Hooray hooray hooray!

Try new things! Meet new people!

Adventure on! Rock steady!

(Unless you’re over 50

Dude, give it a rest already…)

Test my Corpse for Covid!

 Test My Corpse For Covid

by Winlar

Sore throat, tight chest, coughing

Whole lot of fatigue

Do you think it’s Covid?

Oh, I’m sure you’re all intrigued

I should sure get tested

Find out what’s the deal

So I’ll make the next appointment in…

Two weeks? Can that be real?

Yep, the testing’s backlogged

From everything I’ve read

By the time I get one I’ll

Either be healed up or dead

So…

Test my corpse for covid!

Would you please my love?

I will be so reassured

To know just what I died of

Test my corpse for covid!

If you’re so disposed

Hope when they’re available

I’m not too decomposed…

Oh I know, I’ll just pick up

Take home tests from the store

I’m so sure it will be worth

The twenty thirty bucks or more

So I’m off to get one

At my local shop

Since the website couldn’t be bothered

To tell me they’re out of stock

Sure enough the friendly staffer says

“Golly, shucks, gee whiz”

I told her, “Hey no worries!

Except, well now you’re too at risk…”

Test my corpse for covid!

Once the tests arrive

That is if they come while 

Anyone’s still left alive

Test my corpse for covid!

Won’t you please my dear?

There should be some incoming

In the pandemic’s fourth year

I still trust the system

No ifs ands or maybes

Though it’s better suited

To delivering beanie babies

I’m sure we will work this out

And get it all corrected

We’ll have much more urgency 

Once everyone’s infected

Que sera sera you know

Whatever will be will be

That’s the attitude

I’m sharing with the CDC!

Test my corpse for covid!

Though I’ve turned to mulch

I’ll fin’ly have 48 hours

To wait for the results!

Test my corpse for Covid!

Hey I’m not depraved!

I’d sure hate to pass it to 

The guy in the next grave!