Thursday, October 25, 2007

Hillary, yeah, well...

So Hillary claims that her official campaign song is "You and I" by Celine Dion? Nonsense. I've come up with a better one that speaks more to the enthusiasm she brings to us an a candidate. Enjoy.

Hillary, Yeah, I Guess She’s OK

By Winlar™
©2007
winlar@winlar.net

A little poem about our front-runner and the enthusiasm she generates.

1.
Winning in O-eight will surely not be hard
It’s like we Dems have a “Get out of jail free card!
(Or to be more precise, if you’re asking me
The card says, “Get out of Guantanamo free”)

The Repubs they seem screwed. Man, they really are reeling
So how should we capitalize on that feeling?
We could choose any candidate! Short, stout or gaunt
You name it! We’ll have any prez that we want!

So whom are we choosing? Who’s in the lead?
Who is the savior we all want and need?
Who is the one with the style and appeal, he’s
Her? That one? No kidding? Oh really?

She’s the frontrunner? The one we’ll salute?
The nasally voiced gal in the pantsuit?
The right-leaning one? The one so maligned?
She is the one we shall all get behind?

Well, not who I’d choose, but ya’ know, what the hey…
Hillary, Yeah, well I guess she’s OK.

2.
She’s not one for whom y’all might flip your lid
She does not ignite passion like Monica did
She’s not one to rally the troops with her style
Or make a crowd cheer, or chest-thump, or, well, smile

With Hillary it’s more about “why not” than “why”
And hey, she is married to that other guy
And she’s also a woman, so that’s something new
She’s no Barbara Boxer, but yeah, well, she’ll do

And folks know her name, so that holds some cache
Hillary. Yeah. Well. I guess she’s OK

3.
She can act nearly human and can act sort of smart
She served in the Senate and board of Wal-Mart
(A store that says “unions? No need for them!"
What a natural fit for all of us Dems!)

She’s so nearly watch-able and so nearly funny
And her perfume’s the sweet smell of big corporate money
And that money doth more than make up for her flaws
Despite running afoul of a few finance laws…

And that pro-corporate finance gives her the heft
To represent all of us folks on the LEFT?
It’s not what you do folks, it’s what you can pay
Hillary, Yeah, well I guess she’s OK.

4.
So what if her votes on Iraq need some fixin’?
And she’s slightly less liberal than Richard M. Nixon?
And she hasn’t accomplished too much on the hill?
And seeing her face makes us scream out for Bill?

And she’s such a big target for all right-wing spin?
And by far the least likely of all Dems to win?
And half the land's citizens already hate her?
We just have to elect her; we don’t have to date her!

So we’ll nominate her. We’ll do the dance
Who needs someone folks like or who’s got half a chance?
We’re democrats. Losing’s not just a cliché
Hillary. Yeah. Well, I guess she’s OK.

6.
I think that she’ll be quite a… yeah… nominee
She’ll battle hard with President Huckabee
Or Romney or Thompson, whoever is sent
To beat her and serve as our next president

Yes, I’m sure we’ll be glad we gave her our support
When the last of the lefties has left the Supreme Court
And they gleefully go and replace old Ruth Bader
With a cross between Pat Robertson, and Darth Vader

Who cares if the country might go straight to hell?
Hillary! Hillary! Yeah. Um. Oh well.

7.
So let’s take the chance. Come on, what’s the harm?
She’s got all of Bill’s baggage, and none of his charm
The most pol’rizing figure in U.S. History
How she'll heal our poor, fractured nation’s a mystery

There are those both more liberal and less divisive,
Those with names heard with words not so derisive
Those who aren’t everyone’s favorite pincushion
But those aren’t the products we’re soon to be pushin?

We’re pushin’ Hillary! Without a doubt
She’s good as… someone we’re excited about
We can’t wait to put her fine name on the roster
And spending 4 more years discussing Vince Foster…

She fits our party like one bad toupee
Hillary. Yeah. Well, I guess she’s OK…

OK, now everybody chant!

Hillary. Yeah. Well, I guess she’s OK…

Louder!

Hillary. Yeah. Well, I guess she’s OK…

Beltway insiders in the house! Let me hear ya!

Hillary. Yeah. Well, I guess she’s OK…

One more time! With passionate apathy!

Hillary. Yeah. Well, I guess she’s OK…
Hillary. Yeah. Well, I guess she’s OK…

CURTAIN

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