Illegal Immigrants

Somebody stole my hat

It was a nice one at that

Custom made and signed Truly one of a kind So I found my rich friend I see now and again And when I met him, dread My hat was on his head Thought I’d caught him red-handed That lame hat-stealing bandit. I asked him “did he know Who might’a stolen my chapeau?” He thought of it a while Then looked at me and smiled He said “Oh, yes, your hat! I do know all bout that… It. Was. Illegal immigrants musta been Illegal immigrants One percent of them controls Two thirds of all the world’s wealth I’m told Illegal immigrants musta been Illegal immigrants Ya; know, they run the world Look over there! Squirrel! Illegal immigrants musta been Illegal immigrants Blame them for everything 2 I did not find his story Quite Satisfactory I couldn’t understand This corporate hat stand This silly one-percenter Could have been a my-hat-renter Yet he hadn’t even hid After he’d purloined my lid The crime it seemed so brazen His lying pants emblazoned He was s’posed to be my friend Turns out he’s just a horse’s end But that didn’t bother him He just looked at me grim Said he’d done all he can Then muttered “migrant caravan” Full of... Illegal immigrants musta been Illegal immigrants If it weren’t for their welfare I might give you healthcare Illegal immigrants Had to be illegal immigrants Man it’s such a crock They own 80 percent of all stocks Illegal immigrants musta been Illegal immigrants Blame ‘em for everything! 3 I left the hat with him I knew I couldn’t win Like all other things it went Right on up to the one percent He donned the hat of theft And tipped it to me as he left He threw it on a scrap heap Built of tons of other caps he Very clearly didn’t need A hat-themed monument to greed It filled me so with doubt What was this episode about? It so much hurt my mind That I was robbed by my own kind That even to this day I try to explain it all away Saying, it had to be Illegal Immigrants Maybe it WAS illegal immigrants Them and that George Soros They got it in for us Illegal immigrants I think it ‘was Illegal immigrants Between them and ISIS They caused the mortgage crisis Illegal immigrants musta been Illegal immigrants Blame them for everything