Dick

Well, here's my second blog of the week, and it's appropriate with the Sonic's trial ending today that some of the amended lyrics involve our friend Clay Bennett. Enjoy.

Dick

by Winlar + GT

©2007

The Sign there on the freeway

Says soon the left lane ends

So you should merge right over

But no, not you my friend!

You cruise past everybody

Then cut back in real quick

Because you deserve to cut in line

Cuz’ you’re a dick dick dick dick dick dick dick

You’re a dick dick dick dick dick dick dick.

You went and pulled me over

For an extra mile an hour or two

That’s how you save humanity

You shining knight in blue!

You could give me a warning

And not write up the tick-et

But we know that won’t happen because you…..

You’re a dick dick dick dick dick dick dick

You’re a dick dick dick dick dick dick dick

Bridge:

It’s self-important folks like you

Who make society work

So what if other people think

You’re a big dumb fucking jerk?

You just keep looking out for number one

The way you always do

That’s right Tim Eyman, I’m talkin’ to you….

You dick dick dick dick dick dick dick

You dick dick dick dick dick dick dick

You think the national anthem

Is the white folks property

And singin' it in Mexican

Makes you all vomity

It's an insult to your heritage
An outrage and a ploy

Yeah, you're a credit to your race there

European boy!

You racist Dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick

You used your wealth and power

To pass upper class tax cuts

Yeah that’s just what this country needs!

No ifs ands or buts

Don’t mind it leaves our children

With a big ol’ deficit

What matters is you’re looking out for you…

Republican dick dick dick dick dick dick dick

You dick dick dick dick dick dick dick

Bridge 2:

Thanks for acting only out of self-interest and greed

Leaving messes to clean up for all us non-dickweeds

You know that you are number one and we’re all number two

Cheney, Rumsfeld, Boenner, Bush, Alito, Roberts, Frist, Delay,We're talkin’ to you

dick dick dick dick dick dick dick

Well you wanna move our Sonics
Down to Oklahoma City

But first you'll hold the town for ransom

No, that isn't shitty

Just take away our passion

And our loyalty and cheers

You don't owe us a damned thing after

Forty fuckin' years!\

Clay Bennett's a dick dick dick dick dick dick dick

A lullabye

Hey, I know, I missed my blog last week, so I'm going to try to pick up and put two on this week. But if you're really starving for some Winlar, check out www.reverbnation.com/winlar and you can listen to Winlar MP3's and become a "fan."

Anyway, an oldie but a goodie this week. Enjoy.

Hungover in Heaven

Hung Over in Heaven
By Winlar + GT
2007
winlar@winlar.net

Asus D
I been after you girl for so long now
Asus D
And last night I got you, still not sure how
G D
I know we went out and we had a few drinks
A
And what happened next, well I just can’t think

But now I’ve awakened and right here you are
Still smelling a bit like the floor of the bar
I see that we’ve slept in ‘til well past eleven
A (then tacit)
It’s like I’m hung-over in heaven

I’ve dreamed of this night, and of this morning
I wasn’t prepared though as my only warning
Was when you were dancing to show off your charms
And fell off of the table and into my arms

Then we staggered up my stairs and down the hall
Driven by love, fate, and grain alcohol
Hearts heads and stomachs so furiously revvin’
It’s like I’m hung-over in heaven


(Bridge)
G D
If there’d been other bars not just yet closed
G D
Then maybe to my place you were not disposed
G D
I’d tried so before, but was always rebuked
A
Then you let me hold your hair back while you puked (Ahhhh)

Asus D
And finally you came to me that perfect night
Asus D
You got my name wrong but the rest was so right
G D
Why baby why d’you keep calling me “Kevin?”
A
It’s like I’m hung-over in heaven

So baby, let’s just lie in bed all the day
Now that you’ve finally proof I’m not gay
I’ll make you breakfast, an omelet and bacon
As my little thank you for love we’ve been makin’

Let’s stay here at my place, away from other men
And drink, baby, drink ‘til you love me again
Straight shots to our hearts. About 27
Let’s not get sober in heaven

Why Obama Won

So, Barack Obama is our nominee. How did this happen? Can it be explained? Pundits will be discussing this one for a long time or at least until Brittany goes clubbing without panties again. So I thought I’d toss in my two-cents, which may not be well founded, or well explained, or by any standards grammatically correct but they have the advantage of being right.

Here’s what it boils down to:

The reason Obama won?

Obama has It.

That simple.

Don’t ask me to tell you what It is, because obviously if I could call it anything else I wouldn’t have to call it It, but Barack has It. Napoleon had It. FDR had It. JFK had It. Hell, Bill Clinton had It. Barack’s got it too and by it I mean It. You just watch him and you know. He was either born with, inherited, bought, or was infected by It, whatever, but It’s all over him. It the man has.

Hillary, on the other hand, does not have It. I’m sorry. She has a lot of things but she doesn’t have It. She didn’t have It in Iowa, she doesn’t have It now. She’s been desperately trying to get It, or at least rent It for a while, but she ain’t got It, and I doubt she’ll ever have It.

What she has is much more like Anti-It. She has negative It. She sucks the It out of other people. That’s how she’s stayed in the race so long. She’s been sucking the It out of Obama and that’s kept him from overwhelming us with his
Itness. She’s become an It sucking machine. It was a good strategy, but in the end, Obama just had more It than she could neutralize. Basic It physics.

That’s why she and Bill have a good marriage. (I know, you just spat out your drink reading that, but let me explain.) He’s got It, she’s got Anti-It and they thus form an It symbiosis. Perhaps the It and the Anti-It meet and annihilate each other like matter and anti-matter giving the couple a warp-drive like energy which has fueled their political ambitions to these lofty heights at speeds faster than light. I don’t know. We’re in the realm of pure speculation here and to attempt to fathom it further I’d need another six-pack.

Most political races boil down to just that. It versus Anti-It and It usually wins, at least in this political universe under these gravitational laws. That’s too bad for Hillary on this one, but great news for an It starved nation.

So will Obama win in November? Well, suffice it to say that John McCain can’t even spell It. He couldn’t hit It if It were water and he fell out of a boat. He probably doesn’t even know that there’s such a thing as It. He avoids It as if he were playing a game of tag. Etcetera, etcetera.

So yes, I’m feeling pretty good about this election campaign.

Viva la It.

--Winlar