Thursday, January 02, 2014

Atheist at Christmas


One of my New Year's resolutions is to finally "come out" as an Atheist.  Couldn't think of any better way to do it, but with this song.  Lyrics below.  Enjoy!

There’s been some talk about a War on Christmas
Implying there’s no way to celebrate
The happy holiday without at a’blurrin’
The line betwixt religion and the state

They say the season is meant for “Believing”
But I believe that’s just a load o’ guff
All you need to believe in at Christmas
Is eating and drinking and giving and getting stuff!

(Chorus)
It’s fun to be an Atheist at Christmas
Trust me, I’ve done lots of research
Great to be an Atheist at Christmas
All of the presents none of the goin’ to church!

At my house there’s a moment every Christmas
We think ‘bout getting on our knees to pray
But then we realize that we don’t have to
And we just go open presents anyway

No deity brings us the Christmas spirit
It comes along ‘cuz simply ‘tis the Season
For us to be nice and to give to others
There needn’t be some supernat’ral reason

It’s fun to be an Atheist at Christmas
In no way does that make the season flawed
Great to be an Atheist at Christmas
All of the presents none of the blood-debt owed to some sky-god
 
(Bridge)
We skip the mass.  We skip the prayer
We skip the rosaries
We skip those comic’ly embarrassing live nativity scenes
We just blow off the churching
We hold days off too dear
Which makes us just like everyone else
Except for twice a year

Fun to be an Atheist at Christmas
Ye are free to do just what thou wilt
Great to be an atheist at Christmas
All of the presents, none of the Catholic guilt

I know, I know, the “True meaning of Christmas!”
The Virgin Birth, the manger, all those trappin’s
But in our house it’s all about elves and reindeer
Which seem to me more likely to have happened!

Sure the tale of Jesus’ birth is nifty
A magic guy with 12 most helpful friends
But Santa’s got 9 flying reindeer
And his story doesn’t have the violent end…

Fun to be an Atheist at Christmas
The joy simply cannot be denied
Great to be an Atheist at Christmas
All of the presents none of the baby who’s gonna get crucified!

So don’t tell me that there's a“War on Christmas”
Just 'cause some folks wish Happy Holidays
If being kind and thoughtful attacks Christmas
You’ve lost that war already anyway

And If you’ll pardon this strange contradiction
For an Atheist this time is heaven sent
The best gift of all’s telling Bill O’reilly
And Sarah Palin they can just get bent!

It’s fun to be an Atheist at Christmas
That’s not even open for debate
Great to be an Atheist at Christmas
All the presents none of the Santa, oh wait we get all the Santa too!  (Even Naughty Santa!)
All of the presents, none of the carolling… No wait, this is a carol, we get plenty of carols..…
All of the presents none of the drinking…
Wait, we get TONS of drinking… guilt-free drinking…
Oh yeah, that's it...
All of the presents, none of the pious Fox news commentators!
 
Happy Holidays everybody!

No comments:

Contact Winlar