Thursday, January 09, 2014

Text You a Picture

Lots of requests to put this one online.  NVSFW, but loads of fun and quite topical!
Enjoy!



Baby I know it’s important to you 
In this cybernetic new age 
You need a man who is tech literate
And can find his way ‘round a web page 

Ipads and Ipods, webcams and cell phones 
I’m well equipped there as such 
But I’ve got another, more old-fashioned gadget 
That you care about just as much 

You can’t decide yet if I am your dream man, 
Well I’ll get you out of that funk 
You’re gonna fall in love with me baby
When I
Text you pictures of my junk

I need a way to prove I’m your man 
And I know a way just sublime 
To show you I have both packages you’re searchin’ for 
And I’ll show you both at one time 

Your eyes are asking two questions of me
And my answers to both, they will free you 
Why, yes that is a smart phone in my pocket 
But I’m also quite happy to see you 

Some say we’re not right together, 
But we both know that’s all bunk 
You’re gonna fall in love with me baby
When I
Text you pictures of my junk

Bridge: 
If we lived in ancient times 
Prehistory or I dunno know what 
I’d paint you cave drawings, or send naughty faxes 
Or photocopy my butt 
But we live in a brand new day
Where I can connect with you dearie
So what do you say
We have a four-way?
You, me, Carlos Danger and Siri!

So now we know each other's megabits better
I think it’s time that we dated 
Don’t you want to see a little more me 
More live, and less pixilated? 
 
So confident that my exhibition  
Will prove to you I’m worth your whi-le 
C’mon baby let me into your inbox
And please god, do not hit “reply all” 
 
Today’s modern marvels showcase my marbles
Ten years ago who woulda thunk?
You’re gonna fall in love with me baby
When I
Text you pictures of my junk

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