Tater Tots

Girl you left me
Made me blue
I cried all the way through the drive-thru
And at the window
Destiny
A reminder how things could be
Golden brown
Cylindrical
Potato magic so wonderful
They came to me
Sizzling hot
Just like sex with you was not
(I had perspective on our relationship. And it goes something like this.)

(Chorus)
Girl you’re hot
I liked you quite a lot
But what you’re not
Is Tater tots
(Repeat)

Potato pieces
chopped up fine
And then rejoined a second time
Held together
By mystery
The way that love’s supposed to be
A magic bond
Thicker than blood
Between reconstituted spuds
Proof that our love
Was a lie
Inside a Taco time mexi-fry
(Girl, a fast-food side dish taught me more about love than you ever could)
(Chorus)

(Bridge)
Tater tots
From Taco time
Were once coated with spice and lime
But slowly as
Things came about
The spicy seasoning was fazed out
Much like immigrants
From Mexico
Often let their cultures go
In efforts to
Assimilate
Into these United States
(It’s very sad, this particular metaphor, but it is undeniable that tater tots and the American dream are quite delicious.)
(Chorus)

So girl we had
A lot of fun
But the tots tell me we’re done
They make feel
Comparatively great
When juxtaposed with our many dates
A simple tuber
Rightly fried
Can make me feel just as good inside
And here’s the really
Bitter part
I think they’re better for my heart
(Sorry Girl, the tots have spoken)

(Chorus)

What’s that girl? You want me back? Sorry girl, that ship has flown. Girl, you smell good. What’s that behind your back? Girl? Is that two large orders of TacoTime mexi-fries? One for you, and one for me? What? One and a half for me, and a half for you? Oh, you’re on a diet. Huh. Girl, I think I may just give you a second chance…

Girl I thought
I’d give you another shot
Because you brought
Some tater tots
(Repeat)