I Hate...

Lord it’s me Winlar Something to confess Been a long time coming Gonna be heck of a mess There are folks I’ve lied to Just to play along Many of whom quite likely are in earshot of this song Folks that I’ve pretended to get on with and respect But I can’t do that anymore twas wrong in retrospect So here is my confession So I can make amends Lord, oh Lord I hate comedians Lord, oh Lord I hate comedians There’s nothing worse than gettin’ on stage And taking a quick look And seeing the whole crowd staring at their cell phones and notebooks Jottin’ down those precious precious one-liners and bits In hopes one of them may someday be confused for wit Cravens cravin’ constant focus casual and formal No one needs that much attention No one who is normal Spare from these narcissists They take me round the bend Lord o lord I hate comedians! Br. They get up on the stage and bomb with all their shitty jokes Then whine about how the crowd’s either too drunk or too woke Always it’s the crowd’s own fault For not being in stitches Whiney whiney whiney whiney whiney little bitches! Pinning all their failure On the poor slobs who attend Lord oh lord I hate comedians So here’s the thing I hope you fucks remember from today When I say “nice set” what I mean is “go away” Your only purpose on this earth The reason you’re alive Is when I find you funny I know I’m too drunk to drive Oh wait, you do have one good line That gives me much delight Lord I love it when you say “That’s my time g’night.” Yeah The best thing ‘bout your tired schtick Is that it always ends Lord, oh lord I hate comedians