Thursday, October 16, 2008

Comments from the right

OK, so I posted my "Are You Really That Stupid" song on Facebook, and I've gotten some right-wing hate mail answering the question very much in the affirmative. I think the comments are very much a microcosm of Republican campaigning in general, so I thought I would share the exchange with you, my dear blog fans, all seven of you. (You may wish to scroll down and watch the video first.)

First, the comment:

1. Are you wearing a hair helmet or is that seriously your hairstyle?

2. You look like the kind of guy that would support Obama because you are always looking for the next thing the government can do for you instead of actually doing something for yourself.

3. Did you wake your Mom when you were making this video or did you have her basement door shut while you were in your "room" (a curtained off corner of the basement I assume).

4. Do you actually have any idea about Obamas proposed policies.


--John C. Namewinlarmadeup.

And here's my patriotic response:

Dear John,

Thanks for checking out my video!

I always appreciate intelligent, thoughtful, and constructive feedback. I also appreciate yours.

Thank you for enlightening the current political debate with a stream of ad homonym attacks, tired catch-phrases and assertions that you can't possibly know are factual, and as it turns out, aren't. May I hazard a guess that you sir, are a Republican?

Allow me to deal with your attempts at put-down humor one by one:

1. Hair helmet! Ah, Scrubs was funny wasn’t it? But now it's gone. What sitcom will you get your material from now?

Yes, that is my real hair. Of my many faults, vanity is clearly not one of them.

Nice pic of you by the way! Is that your real chest? So nice of you to share so much of it!

Sorry blog fans. Can't share his picture with you as I do want to keep things anonymous, but just imagine a neckline right out of the Sopranos or the mid-seventies and a well lubed-back coif.

2. I remember when I joined the US military I thought to myself, "Gee, here's something my country can do for ME!” When I started teaching low-income kids, I thought, "I'm going to make MILLIONS doing this!”

And when I asked for a $750 billion bailout... Was that me or was that conservative “free-market ideologues” who believe in privatizing profit, but socializing debt? Hint: It wasn’t me.

You stereotype liberals when you say we ask what government can do for us personally. What liberals ask is what government can do for SOCIETY. ALL OF US! Education, alleviating poverty, health care, equality, a greater social safety net, maternity leave for mothers et al. These are not selfish requests, these are CHRISTIAN requests.

3. Wake my Mom? That's the best you can come up with? What are you twelve? It’s a good thing we’re not living in a grown up country with grown up problems, or your misguided cheap shot would somehow cheapen the discourse…

The video is shot in the house that I OWN and where I live with my wife, my 2 kids and the world’s best dog. The fact that I’m married is visible on my Facebook profile. I’m curious, did you not bother to look up that fact, or did you research it and go with the attack anyway? (I'd like to ask the same thing to Sarah Palin)

People’s houses (in this case my upstairs office. When we assume..) are where YouTube videos are shot! If you want production values get HBO. YouTube, Facebook, and MySpace are all about the common man taking back the conversation from the corporate media. Why be such a dick about the set design?

4. Um, had you listened to the song, you'd have heard that I mentioned lowering college tuition, ending the Iraq war, and health care as Obama’s proposed policies. (More policy discourse in one song than in McCain’s entire convention speech.)

How could anyone at this juncture NOT know Obama’s proposed policies? He mentions them in every stump speech, they were talked about ad nauseum at the convention, the 24 hour cable news networks have absolutely nothing else to talk about except for fist bumps and lapel pins, and I understand that there is this thing nowadays called the Internet that’s all the rage. (It’s almost as though we’ve entered some kind of “Information Age!”) What kind of mediocre citizen wouldn’t research both candidate’s positions?

If someone's even paying a passing attention, they’ve picked up a dozen things Obama will do, and I play very close attention. I read three different newspapers. I have linked on my homepage. I TiVo stuff on C-SPAN! (Having admitted that, I feel I must restate the fact that I do not live with my mother) I did a whole stinkin’ hour-long hilarious political comedy show for crying out loud! (DVD’s still available!)

Why do I pay so much attention? Because before I started paying so much attention, I was a conservative.

But since you asked, (sans question marks) here are a few other things Obama proposes to do that come to mind off the top of my head, in no particular order:

-He will implement a saner, less arrogant foreign policy, ending the "Silent treatment" policy, which never worked in high school, hasn't worked internationally, and has devastated our prestige with other nations.

-He supports the Employee Free Choice Act, which will increase the power of Unions to negotiate better wages in this country. Studies consistently show that unions drive wages up, even for non-members. This is a good thing.

-He’ll invest in energy solutions to get us off of our petroleum dependency, decrease the nation’s carbon footprint, and creating new jobs in new technologies.

-He’ll raise the federal minimum wage! You do know that the vast majority of people living in poverty work, right? You do know that the majority of people earning minimum wage are not teenagers but male heads of households and single mothers, right? So let’s see… when you pull up to the drive thru during an Obama administration, not only will the guy serving you your whopper be less likely to spit in it, he’ll have health care so if he does it will likely be less contagious. I’d say that’s a win-win wouldn’t you?

-And oh yeah, he'll stop torturing people without even the right of habeus corpus, bring back the rule of law, and end one of the saddest, most paranoid eras in American history?

Is that enough, or would you like to know more about people he’s met who did bad things when he was eight?


Let me recommend some very useful websites

Which should demonstrate to you the clear differences in tax policy between the two candidates and also demonstrate that you are very likely voting against your own economic self-interest.

Boy, I have gone on haven’t I? That’s how it goes when you talk about issues rather than someone’s hair.

I hope you've enjoyed my responses to your questions, (more questions than Sarah Palin has fielded in the past 2 weeks…)

Thanks again for your comment on my song and asking such insightful questions, while answering my original one!



Let that be a lesson to you all. Winlar's hair is OFF LIMITS!

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