Thursday, October 02, 2008

God Chose This President and ists.

So in honor of tonight's upcoming "debate" featuring things Sarah Palin has been told to say and things Joe Biden will be nit-picked for, I thought I'd blog the opening song of my last show. (DVD's of which are available!) which you can view by scrolling down.

But first, since I realize that for making fun of Gov. Palin I will be labeled a "sexist" by people who don't have a single clue what the term means, I wrote a little essay to edify.

The “Ist” thing

I’m not antifeminist. I’m antisarahpalinist. I’m not sexist, I’m anncoulterist. Specificity people. It’s what American discourse is lacking. I see a lot of people confusing political correctness with actual correctness, so we need a little crash course on how and when to use "ists."

What people still don’t seem to get about the ist thing is that sex-ist means that something insults the entire sex, as I would do if I said, “No woman should be vice-president.” That insults the entire sex. However, when I say, “any woman would be a better vice-president than Sarah Palin.” Well that’s about as un-sexist as you can get.

The ist thing does not apply to shots taken at any one particular person. You demean ists when you forget this. When I say, “OJ probably killed his wife,” I’m not saying “All black people killed OJ’s wife.” That's not even technically possible. If I say “Black folks all smoke pot,” that’s obviously as racist as it is untrue, but if I say “Snoop Dogg needs to put the pipe down,” I’m simply stating something well documented in the public record.
If I say that Pat Buchanon is a blithering jackass, would it be said that I hate all white men? Does that make me a self-hating white male? No. I hate blithering jackasses. This makes me a self-hating blithering jackass, but that’s just something I’ll have to learn to deal with.

So since I’m talking about blithering jackasses, let’s come full circle back to Palin. Sarah, stop trying to change the ist rules. The ist rules, when properly enforced don’t allow you to hide behind everyone who happens to share your gender, race, class or creed whenever someone happens to point out the fact that you’re a psycho. I'm not saying that you are a psycho because you're a woman, I'm saying that you are a psycho because you're a psycho. Don’t blame it on an ist or ism because someone points out that you personally have done nothing but slander and lie with your fifteen minutes of fame. It’s not sexism, it’s sarahpalinism and there’s going to be a lot more of it the more you duck behind a feminist movement you never previously seemed to want any part of. Stop hiding behind your gender and take your lumps like a… like a… well, let’s just say vice-presidential candidate running with a guy who opposed the ERA.

OK, now let's sing a song making fun of you.

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